Once there was a little girl called josephine. She was taking a nice nature walk that turned into a
horror show. She found an egg, a big egg that she picked up bang a rock shattered into pieces,
the cave tumbled down blocking the entrance. She climbed looking for a way to get out she was
stuck. She heard footsteps coming from behind it was the dinosaur that looked pretty angry
about her missing egg. She looked at the little girl the dino ran at her but the josephine had
moved so that the dinosaur banged into the wall smashing her free.
horror show. She found an egg, a big egg that she picked up bang a rock shattered into pieces,
the cave tumbled down blocking the entrance. She climbed looking for a way to get out she was
stuck. She heard footsteps coming from behind it was the dinosaur that looked pretty angry
about her missing egg. She looked at the little girl the dino ran at her but the josephine had
moved so that the dinosaur banged into the wall smashing her free.
When the dinosaur got up josephine was long gone. The dinosaur saw the girl in the distance
and chased after her as the dinosaur was getting closer and closer.
and chased after her as the dinosaur was getting closer and closer.
Soon the dinosaur catched up to her and snatched the egg out of her hands.
while she ran faster and faster but she then tripped up on a stone the dinosaur got her.
The girl tried to escape but couldn’t budge. The dinosaur took her back to the cave.
The girl hadn’t been killed though she was never to be seen again.
while she ran faster and faster but she then tripped up on a stone the dinosaur got her.
The girl tried to escape but couldn’t budge. The dinosaur took her back to the cave.
The girl hadn’t been killed though she was never to be seen again.
i like the ending
ReplyDeleteSHEESH!
ReplyDeleteNicky, that's intense...
I think you could work on saying she, rather than the girl. Also, maybe try using different sentance types.